Masturbation Page


3.0 Techniques

3.1 Dangers

Because there used to be so much misinformation claiming masturbation was harmful, many people now emphasize that masturbation is safe. And it is. But the fact that a person may be masturbating does NOT make the person immune from the laws of physics or biology. You don't become Superman just because you are jacking off.

There are some dangerous and deadly ways of jacking off or of trying to. Some people think it is extremely funny to post suggestions to a.s.m that are inherently dangerous. They seem to hope some idiot will try it and hurt or kill himself. And unfortunately some idiots do.

Things that wouldn't be safe if you did them to your arms or your toes do not become safe if you do them to your sexual parts. There is good masturbation, better masturbation, and really great masturbation, but there is not some cosmic orgasm out there waiting for you if you do something stupid.

I have debated long and hard with myself whether to post any information about these subjects for fear that there will be some brain-damaged readers who will try this stuff. I have come to the conclusion that information is better than ignorance and it is better for people to know about these things in order to avoid them than to let people risk being talked into something dangerous because of ignorance.

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Q. My wife told me about men who masturbate while standing on a chair with a noose around there neck. I guess there is supposed to be a thrill associated with cumming and going at the same time. Apparently, a number of men have actually hung themselves in the process. Hope it was worth it. Has anyone else heard about this?

A. Unfortunately this is a common occurrence. It is called autoerotic asphyxiation. There is a scene in a movie with Peter O'Toole ("The Ruling Class") in which O'Toole's father accidentally kills himself in this way, and the subject is common in the novels of William S. Burroughs.

Apparently this practice started when it was believed that hanged men get erections and ejaculate. If this happens at all, it happens in modern hanging as a reflex action when the neck is snapped and certainly the hanged men never feel anything.

Nonetheless, slow strangulation and anything else that prevents oxygen from getting to the brain will cause light-headedness and a feeling of intoxication. Some men (and this is almost exclusively a male phenomenon) think this heightens orgasm.

What happens is a man, usually alone, will strip naked and stand on a chair or table. Then he will tie a noose around his neck, lean against it to reduce the amount of air getting into his lungs and then masturbate. Unfortunately, sometimes the poor guy, in the throes of orgasm or perhaps just by unlucky consequence or because of the unsteadiness caused by lack of oxygen which will make people faint, will fall off of the precarious perch and accidentally hang himself completely.

Usually it is perfectly obvious to investigators what has happened because guys who intend to kill themselves don't usually get naked or pull out their penises to do it. It is difficult for families to decide whether they want the truth to be known or whether they would prefer the death counted as a suicide. Usually they opt for the latter.

Sometimes this activity becomes a trendy thing among groups of boys. When one accidentally kills himself, the others usually can guess the real story, and sometimes because of guilt, others in the group will kill themselves or become careless deliberately. This is what is behind many stories of suicides by hangings among school chums, and also a number of supposed suicides by men or boys who seemed to have everything to live for.

THERE IS NO WAY TO PURSUE THIS KIND OF ACTIVITY SAFELY. Because the idea of the practice is to deprive the brain of oxygen, the activity will certainly cause lack of coordination and lapse of judgment which are very likely to have deadly results.


Q. I have heard of a way to electrically stimulate myself. What do you know about this.

A. This was supposed to be joke. Ha, ha. Someone tried it and electrocuted himself doing it. There is simply no way to use line current or car batteries that is not inherently dangerous. You know better than to stick your finger in a light socket. Why in the world would you think it would be safer to hook the same current up to your sexual parts?

There are some medical devices which are used to stimulate the muscles of people who are inactive because of nerve damage or some other reason. Used properly these devices are safe. But it is also possible to misuse these devices and to defeat the safety mechanisms incorporated in their designs. Some people do use such devices for sexual stimulation. Needless to say, the average person will not be able to produce a similarly safe device from spare parts.

***End of discussion of inherently dangerous activities***

[Most of the following is reproduced from the original anonymously-posted FAQ. "I" does not necessarily refer to the current maintainer of this FAQ.]

3.2 Male Techniques

3.2.1. Old Reliable

This one is the most common. Take the dominant hand (if you're right handed, use your right hand), wrap the fingers around the shaft and start stroking it up and down. Variations can include turning the hand around in different positions, using different fingers, and stroking different parts of the penis. A web search will produce a large return of various hand techniques. Sometimes lists of many thousands of ways have been made in which the only difference in most of the ways is a slight variation of finger position. There are, however, two fairly distinct preferences: fairly loose, light, and usually more rapid stimulation of the head of the penis, and a firmer grip used nearer the base of the penis. Some men use two hands on the penis to combine these basic forms of stimulation.

Although perhaps it is most common for masturbation of this kind to be done lying on one's back, other positions are also fairly common. Many men masturbate standing up, and this is convenient in the shower where cleaning up is easier and which may be the only place providing sufficient privacy or fo quickies in public restrooms or other places when disrobing might be inconvenient or arouse suspicion. Standing positions may make it easier to thrust the pelvis and involve the whole body in the act. Sitting positions are also common. Not so common are anumber of face down positions, in which the man supports himself on his knees and shoulders or knees and one elbow. Kneeling and crouching positions are also used by some.

While male masturbation tends to be very much focused on the penis, many men include secondary stimulation of other parts of the body with their free hand. The other parts most often included are the nipples, chest in general, belly, testicles, anus, and thighs.

3.2.2. Not Quite So Reliable

The same as above, but using your non-dominant hand. (So it is written in the old FAQ. However, a lot of left-handed guys do prefer their right hands. Lefties make a lot of adjustments to a right-handed world, and many learned to masturbate right-handed, perhaps by the example of others.)

3.2.3. The Rubdown

This is simply placing the penis on or against something and then rubbing the penis against it until orgasm. The simplest is to simply roll over on your stomach and rub your penis on the mattress. Variations include placing it between a pillow and mattress, between two pillows, in a pile of clothes, in the crevice between the sofa frame and cushions, between the mattress and box springs, and similar places.

This may be too rough for many men, and sometime lubricated plastic baggies, or condoms, or both are used to cover the penis. Most of these techniques have the advantages, if they work at all, of allow the male to thrust and of leaving the hands free.

3.2.4. The Waterfall

Women use this method often with good results. Place yourself so that your penis is sprayed by water from the tub faucet, the shower nozzle (particularly if you have the detachable kind), a garden hose, or other device. The spray may provide the sensations necessary for orgasm.

Needle fine sprays may be uncomfortable or numbing after a while. Try various adjustments.

3.2.5. The Belly-scratch

Lay on your back in comfortable position. Lube up your penis (I have no idea how good this method is without lube) and lay it back against your stomach. Curl your fingers lightly around the top half of the shaft and stroke the length of the penis. Don't encircle the penis with your hand--just rub the top half with your fingers and let the lower half rub against your belly.

3.2.6. Autofellatio

WARNING: This is not possible for everyone, and you can injure yourself trying to do it.

This is the ability of perform fellatio (oral sex) on your own penis. Most men are unable to do it, but many try and there are a lot of people who claim to have done it to some extent as well as a few porn stars whose main claim to fame is they can do it. You can be in really good shape and have a really long penis and still not be able to do this if your proportions are not right for it. If you aren't in good shape, you best not try it until you have learned some yoga or gymnastics. Slender, limber, long-waisted types seem to be more successful at it than compactly built muscular types.

The most common method is to lay on a bed with your head close to a wall. Swing your feet up over your head and against the wall, as if you were doing a backwards somersault. Then start walking your feet down the wall until you can either take the penis into your mouth or you simply can't bend any further.

A few guys can achieve the same result simply by bending over, grabbing the back of their thighs, and pulling. Porn star Scott O'Hara has a famous picture of him doing it in this position, sitting on a bar stool. If you are trained in yoga or gymnastics, you probably can find some other positions that will work, if any of them will work for you.

Most people who report success with this state that it took them some time and practice to do it, and that they were able to do it over a period of time (like several weeks). Try some stretching exercises to limber up as well.

Hardly anyone who can get some of his own penis in his mouth can really blow himself. Usually no more than an inch or so of the penis gets in and there simply is not anything left for motion of the in-and-out kind. No doubt someone who was very quick on the trigger or very excited about the whole thing could get off to it, but it is not giving yourself a blow job and it is really very painful for many of the guys who can do it to maintain the position very long. A few guys who can do this, do it just for show. Others make it an occasional *part* of masturbation. Apparently that last little strain to get any of it in is especially painful for some people if they try to maintain it for a long time, but the somewhat more relaxed position of just getting it somewhere near the face is easier on many guys.

In this position it is possible to masturbate and ejaculate over the mouth, and some men like to do this.

(Semen can sting if it gets in the eyes.)

3.2.7 The Squeeze

This method is very painful for some men. If it hurts, don't do it. Some men can get their erect penises between their thighs and can get off by jiggling or squeezing their thighs around their penises. Other men find it extremely painful to try to push their erections much lower than perpendicular to the body. Some find it easier to do this in a face down or a sitting position. A major consideration for anyone attempting this technique is to be sure to get the testicles out of harm's way.

A generally less painful, although not universally satisfactory method, is to insert the penis between well greased forearms. This is possible in a sitting or half sitting up position or in a face down position.

Other techniques are discussed in connection with toys.

3.3. Female Techniques

Note: The contributors and compilers of this FAQ have been mostly men. We mean well, but we probably have not got this all exactly right. Corrections and additions are welcome.

3.3.1. Old Reliable

The most common form of female masturbation is to use your fingertips to stroke and caress your clitoris. The clitoris ('clit' for short) is a very sensitive part of the vulva, located above the vaginal and urethral openings. It may be covered by skin or partially exposed, and may take a bit of exploration to locate. How much, and what kind, of stimulation to give it varies widely from woman to woman. Beginners are encouraged just to explore and lightly feel the genital area for pleasure spots, and stroke and caress such spots as you find them. As you get to know your body better, learning the best way to stimulate the clitoris will develop over time.

Clitoral stimulation is usually accompanied by stimulation of other erogenous (or pleasure-producing) zones, such as the breasts, the thighs, the vaginal lips and interior, and anywhere else that enjoys being touched or stroked.

3.3.2. The Squeeze

Some women find that they are able to masturbate by squeezing their thighs together and releasing. The advantage of this is that it can be done more discretely than by digital manipulation, and frees up the hands for other things.

3.3.3. The Waterfall

Many woman enjoy the stream-of-water technique, most commonly done in a bathtub with the tub-faucet running. Set the water to a stimulating temperature (start out with tepid water if you've never done it before. A burn in the crotch can ruin your whole day) and level of force, and then position your vagina so that the stream of water splashes on it.

3.3.4. Autocunnilingus

WARNING: This is not possible for everyone, and you can injure yourself trying to do it.

Some women (or so I have heard) are capable of this. It requires even more ability to double over to reach the area, because women don't have the length of the penis working in their favor. If you can cross your legs behind your head comfortably, you may have a chance of making tongue to clit contact.

As with the male technique of autofellatio, few will make contact at all, and most or all of those who do will not really find this a practical way of getting off. But if you are going down there anyway, take a small mirror--like a compact--with you and get to know what your own sex organs look like.

4.0 Toys and things

4.0.1 Non-sexual objects

These can be almost anything, depending on the resourcefulness of the user. The novel PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT, in the first chapter, offers a variety of examples, like a milk bottle and a bra. But use a little more sense than Portnoy and be especially wary of anything that is very hard, brittle, has sharp edges, or is likely to develop sharp edges if broken. Also consider what is inside objects that might work itself out, such as springs and wires.

Both men and women are cautioned to consider the ramifications of using a particular item before trying it. For males, don't stick your penis into anything that it might get stuck in, or anything that may crimp, cut, or otherwise hurt your penis. Women and men who use insertive toys should avoid anything that might cut, puncture, or tear the vaginal walls or rectum, will break (think carefully about this) or get stuck. Be careful not to introduce anything that might cause an infection and in particular, never put a toy that has been in an anus into a vagina without careful washing and disinfection (and this goes for the fleshy toy attached to boyfriends and fingers as much as it goes for inanimate toys).

Basically the first consideration about something you are going to put in you should be how you are going to get it out. This goes double for anything in the anus, where there are strong muscles that may tend to draw objects in. Many vibrators are made of cheap, breakable, hard plastic and are much too short. They may break or come apart in middle or, in the case of anal insertion, simply get lost. Some devices which seem flexible may contain hidden springs or wires that give the device its shape. These may poke out of the device and cause serious damage to a vagina or rectum.

It may seem silly to repeat such obvious advice, but emergency room records are full of cases of people who did not give even the least concern to safety in these matters.

Articles of clothing can be stimulating, especially if they have some significance in one's life. Those who are sexually attracted to women are likely to find bras, panties, or other lingerie stimulating. Those who are sexually attracted to men are likely to find athletic supporters and cups, Speedos, and briefs stimulating. Some people are sexually excited by stockings, socks, and shoes of the sex they find attractive.

Some men enjoy masturbating into socks (also noted in PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT). The longer athlete type sock works well if roll up, because the rolled part provides a grip on the base of the penis. Pull it on over the penis and rub. Other articles of clothing, handkerchiefs, towels, may also work. If cloth directly provides too much friction, a condom or a plastic bag used as a liner, and lubricated may help, and also makes clean up easier. Feathers and brushes often produce pleasant sensations. "Push" is the word used to describe teddy bears and stuffed animals and similar goods. Some people find these very satisfactory.

4.0.2. Food

Some people will masturbate with food. All warnings given for non-sexual objects apply here as well. Men will generally want something large and fleshy, that can be hollowed out to make a tube which can accommodate the erect penis. A cored apple, orange, grapefruit, or melon is often used. One person suggested cutting off the end of a banana and hollowing out the inside, leaving the peel intact. Some kind of tape (like masking tape) should be wound around the banana several times to add strength and keep the skin from bursting. Another contributor has suggested pasta packed into an object, like a coffee can, and hollowed out. Portnoy (again) reports using liver. Many suggestions of this type suggest microwaving or otherwise heating the object. Be sure, however, that any such object is sufficiently cooled. Remember, stuff that seems cool enough to the finger's touch, may still be too hot if wrapped around the penis.

Women will generally want fruits or vegetables that are the dimensions of an erect penis, such as cucumbers, bananas, and carrots. Note that anything very sugary that may leave a residue in the vagina will be seen as party time for yeast. Also carbonated beverages or anything that may introduce gas to the vagina can be dangerous under certain circumstances. Things that may break off cannot be recommended for anal use.

4.0.3 Homemade Insertee Devices.

A web search for simulacrum will return extensive directions for making an artificial vagina. However, the lengthy and detailed material has been replaced here with the following general remarks. Avoid glass or brittle plastic in building anything you intend to stick your penis into. Ridged parts are required in only one of the devices described below.

1) Device based on foam rubber.

The idea of these devices is to cut a slit in a fairly large block of foam rubber. Because the foam rubber will give when thrust against, the block needs to be a lot longer than the penis. The raw foam will probably be too rough for most people to enjoy, so the slit is lined with a long plastic tube. It is held in place on the business end by attaching it to an O-ring that is much larger around than the penis and is too large to go into the slit in the foam rubber.

2) Devices based on leather.

This device is made of a large piece of soft leather that is finished (smooth) on one side and an elastic bandage. The device is formed by placing the leather on an object that is cylindrical and approximately the size of the penis. Two or three broomsticks put together may be about right. The elastic bandage (the wider the better) is wrapped around the leather. The wrapping should not be very tight at all. The device is completed when removed from the form, although it needs to be seasoned in the same way as a baseball glove. The device should be cleaned regularly, but because it cannot be entirely disinfected it should not be used by more than one person. Also, it tends to conform to the size of its user over time, and won't fit anyone else right.

3) Device based on bicycle innertube.

This device requires a section of bicycle innertube, a large automobile hose clamp, and a piece of PVC pipe that is bigger around than the penis. One end of the section of bicycle innertube is stretched to fit over one end of the pipe and is secured with the hose clamp. The loose end of the bicycle tube is then poked into the pipe (turned inside out). This forms a funnel-shaped elastic tube inside the pipe.

One-time versions of this device can be made by stretching the open end of a condom over a wide-mouthed plastic tumbler and securing the condom with tape.

4.0.4 Commercial sleeves

All of these have one thing in common. They have a sleeve into which the penis is inserted. Beyond that, there are any number of gimmicks and add-ons to make things more interesting. One caveat emptor here: Try to get a good look at what you're buying before you pay. A lot of these things come in boxes that do not allow you to actually SEE the apparatus. If the store you're buying it from won't let you open it up and examine it, you should seriously consider not buying it. If it's good, the company that made it shouldn't have anything to hide. Most of these products are extremely over priced for the material and design work in them. Look for cheaper alternatives.

One of the best sleeves that was ever commercially available was the Jak-Pack. When inflated with air, it was a long doughnut-shaped device, and the degree of inflation controlled the tightness of "hole." But like all such devices, it would eventually spring a leak, and it was not as cheap as it could be. Alert shoppers noticed that a kind of swimming aid sold for children (meant to be fitted around the upper arm and probably not very effective as life preserver) was almost exactly the same thing and sold at a fraction of the price. Another caveat emptor: Be very suspicious of anything that promises a hands-off, trouble free jerk-off. Most of them will not deliver, unless you are particularly sensitive to whatever gimmick is working on you. The real problem is that the human hand is far more sensitive and stimulating that you might usually think, and most of these devices just cannot compete.

By the by, look out for plastic seams. Not only will seams tend to open and make the device useless, but some which are hardly detectible to the touch of a finger will feel like a razor blade to the penis.

1) The sleeve

The cheapest devices have smooth sleeves which are easy to clean but offer very low friction and penile stimulation. Better sleeves have textured interiors, some with bumps, spines, rings or ribs, to rub against the penis for added stimulation. This may be a little to much for many men. Those described as "flesh like" are fairly clammy and sticky. Curiously, very smooth surfaces will tend to stick to the penis rather than glide over it. Satin finishes (very tiny as-if-woven patter) with lube will feel smoother than shiny, smooth looking surfaces. Most of these things look more effective than they are.

2) Vibrators

Some sleeves come with vibrators on them, usually one (located at the top) perhaps a second one located at the bottom (for testicle stimulation). Vibrators can be fun or they can be an annoyance, or both. They vibrate, but they tend to do it by a buzzing sensation that you may or may not enjoy. Generally speaking, vibrators produce an intense and interesting sensation, but won't by themselves get most men off. They simply don't have the length of stroke necessary, and it is not a hands-off experience. (What's more, many of them vibrate side-to-side.)

3) Pumps

Some sleeves come with pumps--a plastic tube and bulb. You insert yourself and pump up the sleeve around you for a tighter fit. This may be a welcome feature, and it gives one a squeezing sensation, but (as with the vibrators) is probably not going to be enough just by itself.

4) Warmth features

Some sleeves are made so that they can be warmed up, either by pouring in warm water into a jacket, or by simply immersing the device in warm water and letting it heat up. Warmth is a fine thing in these devices, especially on initial contact, but most of sleeves will warm to ambient temperature just from being handled.

USE CAUTION: even water that seems tepid flowing over your wrist will seem very warm in a sleeve surrounding your penis. Many hot water heaters provide water as hot as 120 F or hotter, and this certainly can scald the genital area.

5) Facades

It is amazing me how many of these things have a special end that is made to look special: like a vagina, a mouth, or an anus. But of course they don't look real at all, you won't be able to see the painted up end of the device when it is in use, and the end doesn't do any of the work. Don't be fooled. Look at the sleeve. If the sleeve is cheap and featureless, then having a shell that is painted up won't help at all.

6) Vacuums

Some sleeves have pumps that suck the air out (almost always hand-operated), and usually promise a fellatio effect. Suction by itself is generally not enough. There are machines that will use vacuum changes to make a flexible plastic sleeve crawl up and down an erect penis. This DOES work, but the machines cost hundreds of dollars and require a custom fitted sleeve to work properly. You won't find them for $20 or $40 in an adult store.

4.0.5. Dolls

Often called "party" or "love" dolls, these are usually inflatable balloons that are designed to look like women or men. Often the only difference between the male and female dolls is that the male has a little paint on his chest to suggest hair and comes with a dildo that can be anchored in what is the vaginal slit of the female dolls. They are made out of latex plastic and resemble inflatable pool toys. They tend to have a strong latex smell that will remain with the doll until you wash it (probably more than once). Some dolls, supposedly are not inflatable--they are "solid," but evidently such dolls are not common in the trade because we have no reports on them.

Prices for dolls begin at around $15 to $20 and top off around $100. Most of them (especially the more expensive models) come in boxes that give no indication of what the actual doll looks like. Almost any picture on the box will be a drawing or photograph of a real woman or man. In fact, most of the dolls look like cartoons at best. If the doll looking "real" is important to you, you probably won't find anything satisfactory on the market. Store manikins are about 100 times more real looking than the best dolls.

1) The basic doll

Dolls are pretty simple, whether they are cheap or expensive. Basically they are a plastic, inflatable form with a sleeve located where the vagina would be (male-dolls have a dildo where the penis would be). The sleeve is usually the same latex plastic as the doll skin, shaped into a tube. It offers very little friction when used with lubricant (and lubricant is a must), so most people will probably not care for it.

The cheapest female dolls have only one sleeve, located where the vagina would be. Some dolls come with "french" and/or "greek" features. French means that it has a sleeve located in the mouth for simulating fellatio. Greek means that it has a sleeve in the rear for anal sex. In many male dolls, the dildo can be removed, and there is a sleeve there because such dolls are basically the same in male and female versions except for paint and the dildo.

The dolls generally will assume only one position. Most dolls are modeled so that they are lying down, ready for vaginal sex using the missionary position. Their knees don't bend so anal sex would have to be done close to the same way (doggie style is much more difficult). Fellatio can also be awkward. In addition some dolls have faces made of a harder plastic and the oral opening is just not large enough for many penises. Perhaps this is supposed to simulate a toothy blow job. The dildos on the male dolls won't assume any useful position.

2) Life-like features

More expensive dolls may have built-up features, such as breasts and a face. The breasts will vary depending on the quality of the doll, but good ones will have solid-filled latex breasts with formed nipples. The face will have built-up lips, a nose, and eyes. Some dolls comes with wigs, which are either molded on or can be slipped on.

3) "Action"

Some dolls come with vibrators. Usually it'll be something like an egg-shaped vibrator with a battery powered control unit. You insert the egg up the anal sleeve and feel the vibrations in the vaginal sleeve. How effective this is depends on your sensitivity to the vibrator action.

4) Talking

Some dolls supposedly talk dirty. Expect this to be a cheap "chatty Kathy" type device that will be tinny and won't sound real.

5) Clothes

Some dolls come with clothing--usually lingerie or pantyhose. If the doll is highly priced for this feature, consider buying the clothing elsewhere. If you're embarrassed or don't really know the size, ask a salesperson and say it's for a gift. Lingerie salespeople are used to men who are embarrassed and don't know anything about women's clothes. Unless you tell them, they won't know (nor care) why you are buying the clothes.

6) Weight ratings

Most of the more expensive dolls have a weight rating on the side, which is how much weight the doll can expect to carry before it pops. Heavier rated dolls may be more durable, which can save the trouble of patching them. Anyone who has tried to keep pool toys in one piece knows that all of them will wear out, the cheaper ones sooner than the expensive ones, and that patching will only do so much good.

7) Other

There are a variety of other gimmicks and features. The best policy is simply to look in the box and see what you get, but barring that--be skeptical. If a doll promises something special, ask yourself what it would be that would fulfil the promise--especially something cheap. The dolls are a lot of hassle to inflate, store, clean up, and patch. Most people won't get as much use out of them as they might think. Although the more expensive models may last longer and have a few more gimmicks, they are not really that much better than the cheap model for their purpose. It might be wise to get a cheap version first. By the time it pops, you'll have a better idea whether you are really willing to spend the money for a more expensive version.

4.0.6 Vibrators

Women have long used vibrators for masturbation, but some men (both straight and gay) are finding uses for them as well. Vibrators generally come in three basic styles: the first is the massager, and clamps onto the back of your hand. Women may enjoy it, but most men will find it unsuitable because it's hard to stroke the penis with the dead weight of motor on the back of the hand.

The second style is the wand type--shaped like a tube with a rounded end, or like a dildo. These are generally lighter, can be battery powered (no cords to get in the way) and can be inserted.

CAUTION: Dildo-shaped vibrators are usually made of a brittle plastic that can crack or break. The devices are generally not suitable for anal insertion or deep vaginal penetration. They are not generally well secured to their bases and they are short enough that they may become lost all too easily.

The last kind is hand-held unit with attachments that can be added onto the end of it.

CAUTION: Any device using line power (that plugs into the wall) has the potential of being a shock hazard, and all the more so when used around water, plumbing, or in (or on) moist areas. Read and observe manufacturers' warnings.

Women may find the buzzing of the vibrator is enjoyable, either when held against the clitoris or inserted into the vagina or both. It can also be used to stimulate other parts of the body. Men may also find the sensations enjoyable--on various places around the penis, the scrotum, the anus, or anywhere else on the body. Vibrators with a collection of attachments may be particularly favored by men, since some have cups on the ends for the penis head, and attachments that may feel good against other places. Units sold as massagers sometime really are good for nonsexual massage, but the battery-powered dildo-shaped devices are seldom good for this purpose.

Vibrators have a growing acceptance in society, and it is becoming easier to find them. Sex shops will have the widest variety, but department stores often stock them as "personal massagers." If you're embarrassed to be looking at them, don't be. Vibrators do have non-sexual uses, and many people do use them for sore muscles as well. But doing double duty is a nice advantage.

4.0.7 Vacuums

Vacuums are controversial. While they are available on the market as sex toys, there are numerous complaints and horror stories of problems that can occur while using them. Extreme care and caution should be followed when using these devices, and avoiding them entirely may be for the best.

Vacuums tend to be used by men. There are generally two kinds of vacuums, powered and non-powered.

The non-powered ones tend to be glass tubes with a gasket on the end, and a tube coming out the other with a hand pump attached. The man inserts his penis into the gasketed end and forms a seal, then uses the hand pump to create suction. These items are generally sold as penis enlargers, but are often sold as masturbation devices as well. Whether or not you respond to suction alone is a matter of personal enjoyment, but most men need something more. WARNINGS: Almost all of these devices are made of brittle plastic or glass which may shatter or crack. A quick-release valve should be considered an essential safety feature. Use of these devices for long periods of time or with extreme suction can be dangerous.

No device can permanently increase the size of the penis, but there have some reports of good results in older men who can no longer achieve full erections due to impaired circulation. Powered vacuums have a motor that does the work. Sex shops sell these--a hand-held vacuum unit with a sleeve on the end. Between the sleeve and the suction, it becomes a powered masturbation device. Many men, again, do not find the suction effect to be particularly enjoyable, and some toss the motor and keep the sleeve.

Women may enjoy the suction action of a vacuum, by using a canister vacuum (as opposed to an upright) and using the hose to direct suction to erogenous zones like the clitoris or nipples. Caution should be used whenever you use a motor or moving parts as part of a masturbation device, since if you catch your penis in the motor, you may end up getting hurt. Small rechargeable vacuums, like the DUSTBUSTER for instance, have a little fan attached to the motor, and it can wreak havoc with sensitive parts.

WARNINGS: Some parts of the body (such as the vagina) probably should never be exposed to the extreme suction that many household vacuum cleaners can produce. Any prolonged or extreme suction to any part of the body is likely to produce tissue damage.

4.0.8 Dildos

"In Texas, if you own 6 or more dildos, you're a felon. If you own 5 or less, you're a hobbyist". -- Molly Ivins

Dildos are sometimes used for masturbation by people of both sexes. Although penetration is not really necessary for most women to achieve orgasm, some women like the sensation of fullness that a dildo provides. Men may have similar reasons for using dildos, but often the object is provide stimulation to the prostate which is the source of ejaculation.

Dildos can be bought in a variety of shapes, sizes, lengths and styles. Some of them resemble penises more than others do. As the concept of a dildo is fairly simple, the principle considerations are safety. The same considerations apply to household objects that might be considered for use as a dildo.

Dildos should be long and have a wide base. The object of this advice is not to suggest that the full length of the dildo should be inserted, but to ensure that the dildo can be retrieved. All ridged, brittle, or breakable materials should be eliminated from consideration. This goes not only for substances like glass, wood, or brittle plastic, but also for substances that can separate, such as bananas or some of the "lifelike" rubber devices. Some commercial dildos contain metal springs, wires or other forms. These should be rejected if they can be detected because of the possibility of the wire or spring coming out of its soft cover, for if it does it almost certainly will damage delicate vaginal or anal tissue. Dildos do not have to be especially large in circumference to produce a pleasantly-full sensation.

Dildos are fairly poor at providing prostate stimulation because the prostate is not very deep at all, but it is a bit out of the way. Some slender devices with a crook in them have a much better chance of hitting pay dirt.

Dildos should not be shared without careful washing and disinfection, and dildos used for anal penetration should not be used for vaginal penetration without disinfection, even if they are used by only one person.

4.0.9 Lubes

WARNING: Although not a consideration in masturbation, oil-based lubes will weaken latex condoms and may make them ineffective in preventing disease transmission or pregnancy.

General considerations:

Lubes are applied to the most sensitive areas of the body. Some things that do not irritate other parts of the body may burn or sting or cause allergic reactions when applied to sexual areas. Often the cause of irritation is perfumes or dyes. Simpler and cheaper products usually contain few of these. For example, baby oil is simply perfumed mineral oil. If you don't want the perfume, get plain mineral oil. Some products which can be used comfortably will irritate if left on the body for long periods of time.

1) Known to be condom safe

K-Y Jelly: not so good for masturbation because it tends to become sticky and ball up if exposed to the air for a long time.

2) Known to be condom unsafe

Albolene (a facial creme): very good.

Baby Oil: good, may be too light weight for some.

Corn Husker's Lotion: good. Good also if hands are calloused. Cheap. Does not have as many perfumes an additives as some hand/body lotions.

Lubriderm Lotion: expensive. Has some additives that may irritate.

Men's Cream: adult product, made for jacking off

Mineral Oil (same as Baby Oil but without perfume)

Vaseline Petroleum Jelly: good, but hard to wash off.

Spit: although water-based, may contain enzymes that harm latex. Always available. Dries out, requires reapplication. Not slick enough for some people.

3) Not known

hair gel (like Dippety Doo): like K-Y, may dry out, may contain irritating additives. Nice consistency. Works well with insertee toy.

4.0.10 Jack-off Machines

There have been several fairly expensive machines that really will masturbate men (and with some attachments, women). One of the first of these was the Accu-Jac. Most such machines are expensive because they are more or less custom made. The currently popular one is the Venus II.

All of them pretty much work on the same principle. There is a control box which contains a pump and various controls for adjusting the pump, a plastic tube, and a more-or-less flexible plastic cylinder. In some machines the cylinder has to be carefully fitted to size of the user's penis; in others, a liner allows use of cylinders which are one of several standard sizes.

The pump does not just suck. It draws air out of the cylinder and then returns air to the cylinder. This cause the cylinder to move up and down on the penis. There are controls to adjust the length of stroke and the frequency of stroke.

Some machines come with attachment to fit in the cylinders which are essentially little dildos that can be made to poke in and out from the end of the cylinders. These come in sizes appropriate for vaginal or anal use. Some machines can accommodate four tubes, with or without separate controls, allowing four people to use the machine at once or two people to use two tubes each at once (i.e. for penile and anal, or vaginal and anal stimulation at the same time).

These machines usually get good reviews from users of the penile stimulation aspects, and less good reviews from users of the other features. The sensation of the penile stimulation is described as: "The feeling is like being jerked off by someone wearing a Vaseline-coated latex glove, except the machine is adjustable to 'stroke' at between one stroke every 2 seconds (very teasing but not enough to cause orgasm) to about 75 strokes per second (faster than anyone can move a hand). At the maximum speed, if causes me to cum in about 1 minute whether I was 'horny' or not when starting. In fact, it literally forces me to cum. At about 10 per second, I can hold back for about 10 minutes. It was worth the investment." (About the Venus II.)

5.0 Humor

5.1 Words and Phrases for Masturbation

There are many expressions for masturbation. Most of the following are meant to be humorous unless otherwise noted. [basic list contributed by "eric"] -


2 Onanism (A biblical term)
3 Playing with your penis
4 Playing with yourself
5 Beating your meat
6 Beating off
7 Jacking off
8 Jerking off
9 Stroking or stroking it
10 Stroking your cock
11 Stroking your meat
12 Getting a hand job
13 Whacking off
14 Shooting off
15 Wanking or Wanking off (Mainly a British term)
16 Getting your gun (Military term?)
17 Frigging
18 Friggin' your riggin'
19 Fucking your fist or fist fucking (but this last usually refers to anal or vaginal penetration by a hand)


20 Pulling your pud
21 Pounding your pud
22 Pulling your putz (Yiddish term)
23 Flipping off
24 Rubbing the wad
24 Smacking off
25 Jerking rod
26 Firing your peter
27 Spike your cock
28 Pop your peter


29 Milking the mouse
30 Sperming the worm
31 Loping your mule (A southernism)
32 Milking the bull (Another southernism)
33 Riding the bull
34 Whipping your turkey
35 Slapping the monkey
36 Stroking the muskrat
37 Chocking your chicken
38 Charming the snake
39 Making the hooded cobra spit
40 Strangling the goose
41 Making the rooster crow
42 Shaking the snake
43 Skinning the lizzard
44 Ride the dolphin


45 Popping your nuts
46 Pealing the banana
46 Rubbin' the nubbin
48 Juicing the plum (Very descriptive, I think)
49 Jerkin' your gerkin
50 Spiggin' the twig
51 Sap your woody
52 Juicing a woody
53 Spanking the stick
54 Shelling the bean pod
55 Skinning the onion
56 Slicking the slippery stick
57 Slicking your stick
58 Peeling the wand
59 Slicking the willow twig
60 Popping your cork


61 Pumping a gusher (Obviously from the Texas oil fields)
62 Panning for white gold (From California?)
63 Getting your rocks off


64 Playing your flute
65 Tootling your flute
66 Pounding the pipes
67 Playing a tune on the pork flute
68 Ringing your dong
69 Playing the skinflute
70 Organ solo (or duet?)

MEAT AND BONE -- Beating your meat (Not counted--repeat from standard)

71 Skinning the weenie
72 Bone it off
73 Bopping the baloney
74 Bouncing your boner
75 Slapping your boner
76 Boffing your boner
77 Slapping the salami


78 Jazzing your juicer
79 Creaming your cock
80 Pumping up ball juice
81 Churning man cream
82 Letting loose the juice
83 Milk your dick
84 Making prick juice
85 Milking your doodle
86 Cruising for an oozing
87 Pumping the juice handle


88 Rubbin' the rigid rod
89 Playing pocket pool
90 Four fingered shuffle (as opposed to 2 fingered shuffle; female)
91 Five fingered shuffle or (There seems to be some
92 Five fingered exercise disagreement as to the number of fingers used--but everybody has his own technique)
93 Pumping the muscle
94 Stiffening your noodle
95 Hand to gland combat (I also like this new term!)
96 Blasting a pocket rocket
97 Tickle your dick


98 Irking the dude--Recently sent to me--I really like it
99 Flogging the bishop
100 Pleasing the pope
101 Spanking Elvis
102 Making out with yourself
103 Punishing your clown
104 Having a date with Rosy and her 4 sisters
105 An outing with Tom Thumb and his four brothers

WORK? (Nice Work If You Can Get It)

106 Lubing the tube
107 Sowing your seed
108 Trimming your wick
109 Polishing your knob
110 Pumping the piston
111 Pumping the magic Jerkins' lotion handle
112 Popping a wad by hand
113 Cumming by hand


114 Jerking your joy stock
115 Jazzing your joy stick
116 Jacking your joy stick
117 Juicing your joy stick
118 Wet dream on demand
119 Having the urge for a surge
120 Cum in the air
121 Go to Bangkok or Come from Bangkok
122 There is also ABUSING YOURSELF--I've never understood why it'scalled that, since everybody does it and enjoys it so much.

5.2 Why Masturbation is So Popular [attributed to "eric"]

1. It is so easy to do--no special skills need to be taught.

2. No special equipment is needed, although a lotion, KY jelly, a leather thong, or steel cock ring can enhance the pleasure.

3. It can be done anywhere that is private or semi-private- Sometimes the risk of being discovered heightens the excitement.

4. It doesn't take a large amount of your time to whack off--unlike improving your mind or building impressive biceps.

5. Any number can play--All alone, several guys fooling around in a circle jerk, a JO club, or with one special buddy.

6. It can be done very quietly--just an intake of breath at the crucial moment--or fortissimo--"I'm cumming, I'M CUMMING, OH GOD I'M CUUUUMMMMMIIINNNGGG!" rendered in tenor or baritone, but if rendered jointly by tenor and baritone becomes positively antiphonal.

7. In its simplest form (alone), you can be completely selfish and not worry about the emotional or physical needs of anyone else. (Was it good for you too, Dear?)

8. There is no financial cost involved--masturbation, like butterflies, is free.

9. It doesn't ruin your liver like alcohol or ruin your lungs like tobacco.

10. It's safe--you don't get VD or AIDS.

11. It isn't fattening--All that fist action must burn some calories.

12. It is relaxing after a long tension filled day.

13. It isn't against the law--Some acts may still be prohibited by consenting adults, but there has never been a law against the simple jerk-off. (Has there?)

14. It isn't even immoral. (Those fundamentalist who think it is immoral do it anyway and lie about it, which makes it OK.)

15. The building up and then the intense burst of pleasure is a tremendous psychological high without drugs.

16. It doesn't produce unwanted children, thus contributing to the elimination of child abuse.

6.0 Jack/Jacks & Jills Clubs

6.0.1 Commercial Clubs

There are commercial jack-off clubs. All of these that are known are for men only. They differ from bathhouses in that they strictly disallow anything except manual contact. There is no point in trying to list any of them because they blip into and out of existence so fast. Since only manual sex is allowed, these clubs can exist in virtually any warehouse--cleanup requires only a few paper towels and not a large shower facility. Consult the gay barrag in very large cities to learn where they are, or ask any bartender in a gay bar. A few commercial sex clubs for men and women have existed, and perhaps some still exist. None that restrict activities to manual sex are known.

6.0.2 Large Organizations--Public Events

In major cities there are Jacks clubs and some Jack & Jill clubs which sometimes do hold events that members of the public may attend. These are like raves--generally you learn about them from flyers or word of mouth only at the last moment. Often these are benefits or fund-raisers and some admission fee is charged.

6.0.3 Smaller Organizations--Private parties

In smaller cities there are many Jacks and Jacks & Jills clubs. They usually find new members with discreet little ads that give a P.O. Box or phone number that goes to voice mail for more information. Legitimate organizations will not charge anything to give you information or to allow you to apply for membership. But like all clubs, there will be modest dues or modest door charges to cover expenses. Jack & Jill clubs tend to overlap in membership with swingers' clubs, but they are not the same thing.

6.0.4 How to organize parties.

1. Start small. Parties organized electronically tend not to happen. Many people post that they will show up, about four do, and nothing happens because these four don't know each other. They sit around nervously waiting for others to arrive, they stay fully dressed, nothing happens, they all go home.

So do not rely on mass posting or count on a hundred guests. Aim for a small number at first, perhaps six or a dozen. You need a core group of dedicated people who are determined to make it happen. Although you may try to get to know one another through email, it is a good idea to meet in person before the party, perhaps in a public place like a restaurant or bar.

There should be a basic agreement on the ground rules. The foremost of these is that for a "Jacks and Jills" party admission must be by opposite-sex pairs only. This does not mean that the pair is couple, and in fact it is desirable that they not consider themselves a couple at the party. But unless something is done to assure men and women attend in equal numbers, the number of stag males will far exceed the number of females and this will intimidate the females.

2. How the party works:

Have a small entry area where people can enter fully dressed, a disrobing area, and an area where clothing is not allowed, no exceptions.

The entry area should not have any amenities--no place to sit, no entertainment, no refreshment. People in the entry area should not be able to see the other areas. It is simply so people can come in from the street fully dressed. Everyone should be encouraged to proceed to the disrobing area immediately, and loiterers should be ask to leave. The greeter should have a robe handy so he or she can let people in. Don't tell people who or how many people are in the nude area--they have to disrobe and go back there if they want to find out.

The disrobing area should have some provision for people to keep their things together, such as large paper bags that can be stapled shut. Some consideration should be given to security. Unfortunately unpleasant things can happen even in small parties. People should be discouraged from bringing or wearing anything valuable. People should not have access to other people's things in the disrobing area, but the marked bags or other containers should be removed to a locked closet or other secure area by the greeter.

The no clothing area should be one large room with access to a bathroom. In smaller homes this might have to be several smaller rooms. The ideal is everyone plays together in the same room and this should be followed as much as possible. If it is necessary to use two rooms, one should be open and sparsely furnished so that a many people as possible can join the activities there, and the other should have the refreshments and seating for those who are taking a temporary break from the action. It may be desirable not to open the "break room" until things get going in the activity room, otherwise people may hide out in the break room and not get involved in the activities. Have refreshments and diversions--such as video and music--in the nude area so if nothing is happening at the moment people will be inclined to hang around awhile. Most people are most comfortable in the nude areas if the lighting is not very bright, but people should be able to see across the whole area without straining. Provide plenty of paper towels and wastebaskets, and various lubes.

There are some rules which might as well be written in the disrobing area if you expect many inexperienced attendees: essentially these are very simple: anyone may watch anything that is going on (yes, this means *gasp* that someone ugly might look at your beautiful body) but any contact must cease immediately if one party requests that it stop and contact may not be reestablished unless the person who requested that it stop *explicitly* reinitiates it, absolutely no oral-genital, oral-anal, genital-anal, genital-genital contact -- usually this means no kissing below the waist--sometimes stated as hands only below the waist. Some clubs are strictly show only, allowing no contact at all.

It is best to have three or four key people who have some experience, or at least have a great deal of commitment who will act as icebreakers to initiate the activities, perhaps with a show. Once a group is established there will be "old hands" to take the lead, but this can be a fairly daunting task when everyone is a first-timer.

Pairing off and cruising should be discouraged. There are plenty of other places for that. Some clubs find it especially liberating to include people of various types, ages, and backgrounds. Others prefer to be very selective. Open type clubs run the risk of overly-aggressive less-attractive types running off more-attractive members. Closed type clubs run the risk of becoming vain, posing contests. In either case, it is essential that core members exert leadership to maintain a warm friendly atmosphere, to redirect overly aggressive behaviors and to encourage the aloof to lighten up.