I know it's a downer to talk about but I think it can also be cathartic to have a safe, friendly place to vent frustration over bad experiences with masturbation. I suppose it can be about anything you want (although in the interest of avoiding anyone's stomach getting turned, health related issues should probably be avoided when discussing this). I'm thinking more in terms of things like UPS coming to the door, getting a political phone call, or...someone going through your things and determining that you've been doing it, and then giving you a hard time about it later.
I'm not sure how many people can relate to that story, but that's what happened to me, and it's tough because I can somewhat sympathize with her position on the matter. After the yelling and screaming was done, it was generally broken down to me in terms of it being just like cheating. It's somewhat absurd though because of a variety of factors. These are factors that many, I think may have a hard time understanding but they're there, nonetheless. The biggest factor is that porn is not real life. At all. First of all, seeing someone on a video is completely different than being with a person in real life. They have no knowledge of you, who you are or what you're doing. They can't see what you're doing. They can't react to what you're doing. The biggest influence you have on what you're seeing is the ability to press the pause button, or skip ahead or back to a part where something happened that you liked. And, at the end of the day, it's just your dick in your hand.
I'd like to think that in the mind of many, a relationship is a much bigger thing than a person's genitalia, and it experiencing a sexual reaction to physical stimuli. It's greatly enjoyable, and a huge stress relief and significantly more convenient than other causal sex-like activities like getting with a booty call, going to a happy-ending massage parlor or hiring an escort... You don't have to worry about how you're dressed, whether you've showed or brushed your teeth. You don't have to concern yourself with making sure the other person is, at a minimum, not in pain (and, ideally, enjoying themselves, too). There is a lot of timing involved; if I cum before she does, then it's over. If she can cum again and again, we're still in business. But what if it takes a along time? Watching a girl masturbate--no matter how hot she is, is only interesting for 10-15 minutes. I've been with chicks who've needed an hour or two, even if they're all alone.
My point is that it's hard for me to see how it could be considered cheating. Phone sex and certainly webcam sex is a lot closer to cheating than it is whacking off to porn. That would be like getting charged with Grand Theft Auto every time you LOOKED at another car that wasn't your own. You didn't try to get in it; you didn't try to take it for a test drive, or keep it for yourself. You just looked at it, and experienced joy in doing so. No different than a person will look at a painting, or a beautiful landscape, or--a sexy girl or guy--and, in looking at that or them, experienced joy. Again, I'd like to think a Relationship--while it includes sex, and it includes being attracted to that person--goes much deeper than that. Deeper into sharing thoughts, feelings and opinions. Into mutual goals and values. I think it's a bit naive to expect your partner to be attracted to you and no one else. I certainly don't have such an expectation.
In fact, I'm a bit flattered by thinking that in spite of the fact that there may certainly be more attractive men out there than myself, that my wife chose me anyway. That speaks a lot. Clearly, I'm their preference by them having made that choice, provide they have the appropriate motivations (I'm lucky and didn't get with a gold digger, for instance). Sadly, she doesn't see it that way, and, it is beginning to piss me off.
I don't like the idea that she thinks it's up to her when and where I experience an ejaculation. I don't think I have any right to give her a bad attitude for choosing to do that. In fact, I would think it's pretty sexy to know she does it, enjoys it and wants to tell me about it. In fact, when she does, it's great!
All that I can say is that the existence of jealousy is perhaps one of the surest signs that we, as human beings, are very certainly a flawed species.