YES OR NO POLL #3

[Niagra]

Read carefully the question and the following statements.... Thanks for taking part in this.... xx


It is important to me that when I am with the person I choose to be my life partner, that I am able to share all of me with that person. The bad things and the good things about myself, my character and my past. I want to know that person loves me for who I am ..all of it and all of me.


Question: Do YOU AGREE WITH THE STATEMENTS ABOVE? ?

[Simpleton]

I think sharing and exposing are two totally different things. Part of the committment of a life partner is accepting faults as they become evident and not being selfish. That may be protecting your partner from undue harm which may mean you don't share everything.

[Alan]

Read carefully the question and the following statements.... Thanks for taking part in this.... xx


It is important to me that when I am with the person I choose to be my life partner, that I am able to share all of me with that person. The bad things and the good things about myself, my character and my past. I want to know that person loves me for who I am ..all of it and all of me.


Question: Do YOU AGREE WITH THE STATEMENTS ABOVE? ?

Niagra, now that I have read all three polls, I would like to offer my collective opinion.

To be honest, all three of the polls were not what I expected and I am very confused as to why Niagra ( the woman who knows more about me than I do) would post complicated and contradictive statements and questions, searching only for a "agree" or "not agree" answer. I was very surprised to see you seemed to be mostly interested in having the members pick a definitive position. Anyway, here is my input.....

Poll #1 is about a fucked up relationship where the guy is selfish and insecure and blames all women for the fact that he dosn't know how to fuck well.

Poll #2 is about a fucked up relationship where the woman is selfish and insecure and has the overall belief that all men are disgusting animals that cannot be trusted. I get the feeling that this poll is not about learning to trust the man you love, but rather that it is okay to love a man you don't trust because (as the statistics show), no man can be trusted.

Poll #3 is about a fucked up relationship much similar to Poll # 2; except the male/female roles are inverted.


Niagra, you know all of this stuff. What am I missing?????

[hot-big-guy]

In this question I GENERALLY agree with it but there may be some deep rooted items that will not surface for a LONG time or maybe even NEVER surface, depending on the LENGTH of the relationship. The openess gets better the longer you are involved from my point of view even though to be considered a "life partner" there should not be "much" that is not discussed in an open way.

[Niagra]

Haha Alan I am sure you were confused as are many that know me. These questions need only be agreed or disagreed with because I am truying to show someone else if their thoughts are valid or if their thoughts are truly not the normal agreed upon thoughts. The only way to show this without it being "opinionion is to let the voices of the masses speak for themseklves. So in order to protect the validness of the polls it is important that my views or my take not be the issue. Simply answer the poll .. It is very important that as many people as possible answer these and use only the statements said to answer them.


After awhile I will indeed of course and as tradition will show interject and give my viewpoint. I won't let you hang long on the reason these are here.

[Alan]

Haha Alan I am sure you were confused as are many that know me. These questions need only be agreed or disagreed with because I am truying to show someone else if their thoughts are valid or if their thoughts are truly not the normal agreed upon thoughts. The only way to show this without it being "opinionion is to let the voices of the masses speak for themseklves. So in order to protect the validness of the polls it is important that my views or my take not be the issue. Simply answer the poll .. It is very important that as many people as possible answer these and use only the statements said to answer them.


After awhile I will indeed of course and as tradition will show interject and give my viewpoint. I won't let you hang long on the reason these are here.

Niagra, for once I may not be as confused as you might think. After reading all three polls the other night, I was left with an overwheelming feeling that you were (for some reason) trying to prove a point to someone. In my opinion, I was not as confused as much as I was "concerned".

My paricipation with this forum is about sharing myself and accepting others. Unless it is clear that someone is causing "harm" to someone else, this is perhaps (in my opinion) not the best forum for anyone to try and "prove a point" or to somehow convince others to "agree" with certain thoughts or concepts. The failed political thread might be a good example of this.

I have no idea what you polls are really about, so I won't make any assumptions. All I can do is share with you the uncomfortable feelings I had after reading your polls. I am not attacking you or suggesting that my frustrations with your polls therefore equates to me judgeing or understanding your intentions. So.......in my opinion;

All three of your polls made me feel very uncomfortable; not because of the topics so much as the fact that you are searching for a "yes or no" answer on some very complex situations. Regardless of your intentions, your polls (both independently and collectively) made me feel as though I was being manipulated to give the "yes or no" answer you were looking for. Niagra, I ask that you go back and take an independent analysis on each of your polls. In my opinion, all of them are on very complex issues and your assumed bases of facts are founded on an illogical and insecure thought process (ie; the more he loves me, the more he has the need to hide the animal inside him........or, if he loved me, then he would love me for who I am and accept my past........on and on and on).

Niagra, I have great respect for you. I read all of your posts because they usually make my brain, heart and dick fight for my blood supply all at the same time. I would like to think that there are many other members who also have their own reasons for respecting you.

Having said all of this, polls in this forum are best used about things that are really not important in life...., such as "do you beat off with your left or right hand" or, "would you fuck a shemale" or "does everybody love guinner's ass as much as I do" ; my point is that it seems that polls are best used to measure how people "act" rather than how they "feel".

Perhaps what bothers me most in all of this is your last post where you reply that your questions "only need to be agreed or disagreed with", and our input on why we might feel the way we do is irrelevant. Makes me think that the "need" you are refering to is "your need" at our expense, because Niagra (our unconditional absolute leader of this forum) has asked us to give explicit "yes or no" answers to serious real life situations that deserve both questions as well as answers before any one can be expected to share their feelings.

Niagra, love you much and I support you. Just saying how i feel....

[Niagra]

OMG I have just reached my last and final straw. Alan it is apparent to me that you do not respect me or you would not open your ass and bellow thoughts about my misjudgement or motives for putting polls up on this forum. If you respected me you would give me the time I needed before having to answer to you. No one else by the way, is accusing me of the things you have which I intend to go over in private with you as well. My god its a question ... a fucking poll, they typically do not require explanation, however I did say that should you care to elaborate please do as I think it is good that we do that if we want too.

Having said all of this, polls in this forum are best used about things that are really not important in life...., such as "do you beat off with your left or right hand" or, "would you fuck a shemale" or "does everybody love guinner's ass as much as I do" Laughing ; my point is that it seems that polls are best used to measure how people "act" rather than how they "feel".

Umm weren't you the one reaming the world because I felt I needed to apologize for creating a thread on politics? How dare you tell me what polls are best on this forum. There is a greater purpose for this forum than you or anyone here to just get your rocks off. There are literally thousands of people around the world visiting this awesome place everyday, that learn and grow as people from the words reflecting in many of these posts. People who take the awesome responsibility to post spend hours sometimes carefully writing and proofreading what they say to get it just right. Despite your biased opinion here I know I am not the only one that takes this serious too and realizes that there is an educational factor at work on this forum too. There are young adults looking to find answers to very important questions. Perhaps no one has taught them the most healthy ways in which to view a subject or that there are diverse ways to view a certain subject. Or even that the view they currently have is a messed up way to think and will bring them nothing but misery should they choose not to look at it from a different stand point. I think the fact that people take the time to write posts says they do care and as was evident just this week when another member having had sex for the first time came here for advice and many members rose to the occasion to help her in any way they could. To tell the administrator of this forum or anyone else here for that matter that polls should or should not be related to feelings is both shallow and utter nonsense. You need to sit back and let the driving of this forum to greyhound!! I think I have been doing a pretty dam good job of it for the last year and it has not been easy I can assure you. If I want to stand up with purple elephant ears on and recite the gettysburg address in this forum I will do it and I think that I have earned the right to do that too , thank you very much geez. What is it with all this crap lately anyway!

My paricipation with this forum is about sharing myself and accepting others. Unless it is clear that someone is causing "harm" to someone else, this is perhaps (in my opinion) not the best forum for anyone to try and "prove a point" or to somehow convince others to "agree" with certain thoughts or concepts. The failed political thread might be a good example of this.

This statement is further proof of your lack of respect. If you believe that I am so shallow as to use my position or membership "just to prove a point" then certainly I have no business being a leader in the first place. How could that statement be true and you respect me? It couldn't. The validity of the poll remaining impartial was indeed important as it had to do with someone else and their life ,... not you and your dick. Showing respect and being able to see these questions are not my typical stand on things shows you pay attention. Paying attention is a far cry from showing respect. Questioning the motives of someone that "knows you better than you know yourself" as you have indicated in the past, who has been nothing but the utmost professional and caring to you on this forum is both an insult and regrettable. And one more point here worth mentioniing the political thread was certainly not failed, quite the contrary, it was so successful that I have created an entire forum on this forum that is available by invitation only to those who expess a desire to join in that venue. I did not end it because it failed, I ended it because it became obvious that it was impossible to expect the general public to react with respect and restraint and needed to be taken down from public view for the good of this forum. Capeache?

All three of your polls made me feel very uncomfortable; not because of the topics so much as the fact that you are searching for a "yes or no" answer on some very complex situations. Regardless of your intentions, your polls (both independently and collectively) made me feel as though I was being manipulated to give the "yes or no" answer you were looking for. Niagra, I ask that you go back and take an independent analysis on each of your polls. In my opinion, all of them are on very complex issues and your assumed bases of facts are founded on an illogical and insecure thought process (ie; the more he loves me, the more he has the need to hide the animal inside him........or, if he loved me, then he would love me for who I am and accept my past........on and on and on).

Here we have further insult to add to the injury you bellow from your ass! Actually saying to me that I have used an illogical and insecure thought process!! Have you no shame here Alan. You saying this in front of 1000s of people will not soon be forgotten, but had you have showed me the respect as every other person on this forum had and given the polls a chance to run, you would have learned that it was not my thoughts in all these polls it was verbatim quotes from someone that truly believes these things. Do you think it would be ok with you sir if others could show how perhaps the way he sees things needs a little adjusting.? Do you think it would be ok with you if through unbiased information this person could begin to see that life is not as depressing as it sees it and worth staying alive a little longer? You see Alan .. no matter how you see this forum and what it should or should not be used for ... you are not in charge of it and others would not agree entirely with you either. I am sure that the gentlemen who is learning truth as you see it and as others see it, and who knows how many other folks supposedly less healthy than your fine example here tonight may appreciate having a place they can come to get sound advice on a plethera of subjects. All these things contribute to a happy healthy well being which directly affects sex life and masturbation sessions. Would you not agree on this point Alan?

In closing, it seems that lately I have needed to call too many people on the carpet and I do not like having to defend my actions and especially being in a position where I must be rude or authoritative. It affects me in far more ways than most as I am sensitive. However, I am growing tired of the defensive side of things. My character is not on trial here and should it be I could merely point to the countless posts in which my heart and soul have been poured into this forum and more importantly to lives in which it affects. I should not ever feel the need to defend my motives as I would like to see other members do that for me in hopes that it would be one less thing I needed to worry about. You yourself have in the recent past came to my defense. So are you high or drunk or what is this. I was not under the impression that character could instantaniously change overnight. Regardless of how you feel about the person behind Niagra , I certainly hope you can see that of all the failed, ilogical and insecure thought processes demonstrated here today, clearly those were not mine. For all of you that have taken the time to read these words today, please know that when talking about this forum, there is never a time when I do not consider what is best for it and for you. I am a quality person with the purest of intentions regarding life and love and your well being and clearly please know that my advise here is sound based on decades of experience. No one has twisted your arms to read it or answer them and I hope that going forward we can all just take my character into consideration before thinking I am capable of using this place just to prove a point so I can feel important. Trust me I don't work my ass off because I don't feel important. I care about all of you and well knock it off people. I have had enough of this now to last a good 6 months. I wish that others would have fought a few of these for me but it seems it is lonely when shit hits the fan these days. Huh Alan. I am quite tired now. so good night.

[Alan]

Niagra,

To be very honest, I don't understand why my last post upset you so much. However, it is obvious that I owe you an apology.

[Alan]

Niagra,

I am very bothered that my post was so offensive to you. I will again apologize. In no way was I trying to be rude, insulting or otherwise disrespectful to you.

I have read my post several times now and, although I would like to clarify just what I was trying to communicate, I really don't see the point. So.....I will just say that perhaps I really fucked up, and the fact that I don't understand what I said that was so offensive, obviously adds insult to injury. Niagra, I truly am sorry for hurting you and I am even more sorry for not understanding.

In fact, your last post (excluding your comments about me) discussing why people visit this forum, the younger readers looking for advice, and the countless hours that members spend sharing themselves; are the very same reasons why I shared my thoughts and made the posts that I did. Obviously, I made a mistake in how I communicated my thoughts as I was truly trying to share myself and "help out". I have learned a lesson and I will try to make sure my future posts do not offend you or any other member.

As far as your direct attacks on me, I will just take the "high road" and accept responsibility for this mess and once again apologize for insulting you and making you angry. As far as your indirect attacks..............I will just say that they were very effective.

[Mani]

I'm reminded of an old Irish saying: "Is this a private fight, or can anyone join in?"

"Alan" I have read my post several times now and, although I would like to clarify just what I was trying to communicate, I really don't see the point.

I suggest you stop reading your own posts, Alan, and instead read and re-read Niagra's post instead! She's told you exactly why she is offended, the reasons are crystal clear, and her post is a big nugget of gold for you, wrapped up in fancy gift paper with a ribbon on it. That is, if you really drop your defenses and read it with an open heart that wants to understand. If you can manage that, you'll discover much about yourself and have a happier life inside and outside of this forum.

[Javaman365]

Dragging this thread back to it's original question.......
I said "Yes".

It is important. For me, vitally so.
It took me till i was in my twenties till I could even relax a little as I was very self-conscious that I was physically different from the majority of men a woman around here would come across (being circumcised for no obvious reason - this is a major hang up / vulnerability that I personally have). Add to that a particularly gut-wrenching break-up and abortion, and I do need any partner to need to accept that first, or there is no chance of being my life partner.

[Niagra]

YESSSSSSSSSS Mani Finally !! Ohh what a deep and very much needed sigh of relief in someone recognizing why I did this in the first place. Well done. Thanks my friend.

[Niagra]

Javamann, If you are talking about simply the mere fact that you are cirrcumsized being your hang up , Then clearly you are the one that needs to see another side of that coin. It would help to ease your fears and the vulnerability . It is very uncommon in the USA to see a man not be circumcised. In Europe most are not circumsized. Its the absolute opposite.

From what I understand about the issue is that doctors in the US began circumsizing all boys because they felt it was easier to deal with cleanliness. The foreskin trapping bacteria and the person not taking good care of that area could and apparently did have some serious complications. In any event if you were circumsized the reason was likely that.

I personally have never been with or touched a man that was not circumsized. In fact I had no clue what foreskin was or anything. I knew my grandfather though when I saw him as a child by accident did not look like the men I had seen. LOL Imagine my shock as an adult person with kids seeing and uncircumsized penis on the internet !! lmao I can only imagine the look on my face. At first I was like ewwwww .. I aint sucking on that!! LMAO .. I have come a long way. Sex education in this country blows chunks thats all I can say.

Since that time I have come to learn of the extreme pride the Europeans and Scottish take in the uncut penis. So I do understand where your hang up comes from. And I can even see myself enjoying any cut or uncut penis, lol And it would be no big deal .. Well I should like to think it wouldn't be anyway. My point is here ... a penis is a penis, and if you lived here in the usa if it were uncut it would be hard to handle those faces that looked like mine did. In the end its how you feel about your penis that will make you or break you. A woman likes the penis for the love it shows her. And if she loves you shes gonna love your penis A LOT!! Its unfair to say eith one of the two is not as good as the other. It appears to me to be geographical!! Where you live!

Perhaps what is actually meant by your statements was not related to your circumcision. Maybe you meant that a partner would need to understand your past break up etc?

In any event that was a fun and embarassing walk down memory lane for me. Hope you enjoyed the trip.

[Niagra]

Alan, I treasure your postings under normal circumstances and i am surre many could agree with that statement. We have all sat entranced by your frank and open conversation regarding the anal O and get all fired up when you discuss your love of your girlfriends Anus. Truly there are many out there in the world that love the same things. You are gifting us when you write. Also I love when you support me and what goes on here and even that you would disagree with me on some things. At least when you take issue I know about it. And thats what I have always asked for members to do. When there is a problem please say so.

This last post was not about that and without going back over it, I am wanting you to know its ok and I spoke my piece and I did that for you, me and the welfare of the forum. No personal vendetta, no anger or malice just frustration with the inability to take my past character to heart and realize that I did have a reason for the polls and it was important and valid and that its pretty damm sad when you can't simply answer a poll question without reaming the person for doing it. I think we all can say you went far beyond the casual "I don't get it" and actually questioned things that deal with my administration of the forum and even dictated what you feel polls should be about.

It seems like every so many weeks I have a couple tiffs with a few folks all at the same time. You have been someone to jump right in and defend my position or my character. This is something I find special and very cool. So please don't let this ruin anything for all of here who value you being here and a part of this family. I am over it if you are. Ok?