How do you define "edging?"

[PlsBKind]

What level of arousal qualifies as edging? I've always thought of it this way. If you consider that if you orgasm when you are aroused to level 10, then edging would keep you at about 8-9. Now, when I'm at 8 or 9, I'm not really functioning in any other way than feeling the pleasure/pain of almost orgasming and reaching for it.

I could not sustain that level for the hours of edging you guys talk about here. So, is that your definition of edging also, or do you have other criteria. I'm not generally all that clinical about sex, but this one has me curious...

[bugleone]

Personally, I have other criteria and, further than that, I have a range of different criteria according to several outside factors including my mood and situation etc. However, I am a middle-aged man and I discovered 'edging' for myself at quite a young age so my repertoire of what you call "criteria" has been reworked, improved and practiced over at least 35 years!

I first noticed the idea of alloting a numerical value to levels of arousal when reading the books of the American sexologist Dr. Barbara Keesling. A main tenet of her writing is that if you go straight to, say, a level 9 it will feel and be different to when you work up through the levels, noting the feel of your arousal and making a pause at each level, finally arriving at level 9. I certainly agree with her ideas and have learned that arousal is a whole process, not any kind of 'target' feeling or stimulus which must be obtained or which can be simply defined by a particular number. Once you separate the levels and remove a 'goal' orientation then the whole process of edging takes on added value and significance.

Also, for me, I have a different perception of orgasm being a final level 10,..as both you and Dr. Keesling suggest. I like to qualify my highest arousal levels and orgasm quality as I have always enjoyed a variation in both excitement level and emotional qualities, and, well,..'pleasure' during orgasm. I no longer really use numbers to differentiate levels of arousal but when I did my arousal levels during orgasm went from 10 thru 13. Actually, the more that you edge the more this becomes meaningful because edging over a long period tends to extend orgasm considerably,....at least, that has been my experience.

After one has been using edging for some time one learns to enjoy the upper levels of arousal in their own rite as quite a different kind of pleasure to the feelings of orgasm itself. Once you get used to trying to separate and extend these upper levels, say 7 to 9 1/2, you find a wonderful euphoric quality to the pleasure which is highly enjoyable whether you go on to orgasm or not. If you flex your whole body in waves of tension and relaxation by turns you can spread the pleasure into a 'whole body experience',...to coin a popular phrase.

Finally, to take your interesting point about sex being "clinical", or not,........sex is like several other 'arts' in that a higher apreciation of the technicalities enables one to make quite huge discoveries that give a new wealth of pleasure and experience.

Hope some of this ramble makes sense!

[PlsBKind]

I appreciate your thoughtful and thorough response, Bugleone. You're completely right, of course. I'm just not sure I presented my question the right way. I, in fact, don't think about sex, whether masturbation or not, as being measured by these numbers. I do, though, really like the idea of training yourself to reach and hold at increasing levels of pleasure, kind of in a qualitative not quantitativee sense, building the orgasm. I'm such a slut, though, that I just go for it most of the time. Feels so good, ya know?

That aside, my real question is, when you all are talking about edging for 5 or 6 hours (oh, my gawd!), are you physically stimulating yourselves to a really high level of arousal constantly and maintaining it for that length of time? Or are you really talking about getting on a mild buzz and staying that way, with or without constant physical stimulation? In more direct terms, are you laying on the bed jerking for 6 hours?

The reason I'm asking is that since I got into this whole cybersex thing over the last month or so, I seem to be in a kind of pleasant sexual buzz all the time, whether or not I masturbate. When I orgasm, the buzz is replaced by a nice "ahhhh" feeling for a while, then something triggers the buzz again, and off I go! I almost don't feel like I want to orgasm, just stay in the steady state of low to medium arousal. Makes everyday life kind of tough, cause, for example, my hands may tend to feel weak or tremble, making things like typing on a keyboard kind of tricky. Life's tough, huh!

So how about it? What do you mean when you say you're edging?

[bugleone]

Well, for me the best part of edging is the sensation of mounting pleasure just before orgasm. It was a natural progression for me as a youngster to try to prolong the exquisite feeling when orgasm is imminent by stoping just short of climax, allowing the intense feelings to subside a little and then go for it again. Eventually, I learned to hover at the borderline with minimal movements. Today, being much older and a lot less 'hairtriggered', as well as more experienced, I enjoy exploring the upper levels of arousal, and as I mentioned above, the eventual levels of climax. I don't usually spend several hours at high arousal as you suggest, although I have done so in the past. These days it's more about quality rather than sheer quantity! When I have the time and oppurtunity I enjoy a couple of hours of high arousal and pleasuring which I enjoy greatly,...much more so than just getting to the climax as quickly as possible. Sometimes the feelings are so intense and satisfying in themselves that I do not need to reach a climax and enjoy just letting the excitement ebb away slowly. This can give me a better 'afterglow' than that after a normal orgasm.

So, I suppose to answer your question directly; edging for me is a prolonged session at levels 8 to 9 3/4 with as many close calls to '10' as possible. In past years I sometimes got it wrong and suddenly ejaculated in an intense orgasm but this has not happened recently, indeed for as long as I can remember. These days I only actually shoot when I am ready and want to. Over the years I have managed to build up considerable control (one of the best things about sex as you age) and sometimes I can touch orgasm with intense feeling but I am able to prevent ejaculation itself. I formerly had a lady partner who loved to watch my shaft twitching and flexing with the veins standing out while I concentrated on not shooting my semen.

[PlsBKind]

Oh, my gawd! You can't believe how much your description of edging turned me on! It told me exactly what I wanted to know, you know, in that "clinical" sense. But the side effect is so lovely! I sure would like to see that twitching and flexing myself! Would love to learn to edge with you

Thanks again for your thoughtful answer.

[bugleone]

You're welcome!

[Kauri Tree]

This is a fascinating topic and I enjoyed the exchange of opinions between bugleone and PlsBKind. I guess the only major difference between you two is age and experience. How old are you guys? Bugleone: did you take Tantric lessons? It seems you've reached total control of your edging skills. I sure envy that. I'm 53 now and, although I have much more control than in my youth, I have limited control of my edging if I try to hover in the 8 - 9 3/4 range for a long time. Actually it is not so much the "time" I edge for but the number of "times" I approach the edge. After 4 or 5 times I typically would need to ejaculate, but that process can take me anywhere from 1/2 an hour to an hour, depending on how far away from the edge I move each time. I mean "resting" from 9 3/4 down to 7 is quite different from going down to 5, if you know what I mean.

[Tazz41]

For me,its acheiving a constant state of arousal for long periods of time. Keeping an erection
and pushing myself right to the edge of orgasm and backing off. Sometimes I'll do it for 30 mins,but other times it can go on for hrs. Either way, once I have gotten to the point of desperation, I will cum violently. Then bask in the warmth of the waves that just came over me.

[PlsBKind]

Well, Kauri, sorry to disappoint, but I'm not a guy. And I might sound young because of my innocence . I qualify for the over 50 forum.

Tazz, LOL, but after a while those warm waves get cold and sticky, don't they? Just how long do you bask?

[lubed_left_hand]

I edged for awhile yesterday, but something happened that hasn't happened in a long time. I kept gushing precum! By the time I was ready to cum I had covered my cock, balls, thighs, stomach. I couldn't get it to stop no matter how hard I tried. Had someone on cam sharing with me which made it even more intense. While we chatted I sprayed my stomach and legs numerous times. I swear when I finally couldn't hold out anymore the orgasm that ran through me was beyond awesome!

[Tazz41]

About 5-10 mins

[PlsBKind]

Yep. Just long enough to get cold and sticky...

[BigBob]

Yep. Just long enough to get cold and sticky...

Of course if you keep edging, then you can get a 'refresh' of the nice warm stuff, hehehee

[elisabeth]

i'm fascinated with watching a guy edge. there's just something about a man hovering on the brink of euphoria that gets me so excited.

[Tazz41]

You can watch me edge anytime elisabeth!