Sex with my ex-girlfriend

[Alan]

Most of my posts to this forum are about sexual experiances with my now ex-girlfriend (we dated for over 8 years). I am no longer in love with her and I have no interest in dating her again, however, I do miss having sex with her. Until just a few days ago, I have not seen or talked to her for over two months.

To make a long story short, my ex-gf started remodeling her house but does not have the money or ability to complete the project. So......, I told her straight up that if she fucks me I would in return help her finish her house. The more she fucks me, the more I would help her. Without hesitation she agreed.

The bottom line is that for the last year or so of us dating, she had lost her sex drive (according to her) and we were only having sex about once a month. Now, she is more than willing to fuck me daily just so I will work on her house. I am well aware that I should not over think the situation and just fuck her as much as possible, however, I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am rather disgusted with her.

I am not judging her for being open to "trading favors", however, the fact that she is now eager to fuck me much more than she was during the last year of our dating relationship bothers me greatly. To my surprise, I now have no interest or desire to have sex with her.

Perhaps my dick does have a conscious. I am curious to get any comments or feedback.

For the record, during the day and a half that I worked on her house, I jacked off on her face twice and had mutual sex with her once.

[bugleone]

Basically, you have two options,...either you allow this to become a mutually hateful relationship wherin you both basically abuse the other to supposedly get what you both need while trying to ignore your greed and imaturity,...or, you move forward and try to adapt as human beings with mutual respect and understanding while giving to eachother the things you both need in an honest exchange.

Assuming the later course is the most desirable, you could well start by trying to understand that her sexual interest, like most womens, waxes and wanes according to the situation. This is quite different to that of most men who have a more regular need regardless of emotional situations and more to do with their build up of semen, as much as anything else.

It's entirely possible that her lack of interest while you were both together was due to what was presumably an uncertain or stressed relationship. It's equally possible that her appare3nt interest now is due to things being sorted out between you and the emotional situation stilled,...or perhaps, she isn't particularly interested in the sex but needs to get her jobs done!

I think sex can work very well between friends without any particular emotional tie. However, it's vital to have honesty, communication and genuine friendship. When things are like that you can both 'give' the other what they need rather than simply use the relationship to take your needs.

As ever in human activity, it pays to accentuate the positives and try to work on the negatives,...good luck!

[Alan]

Basically, you have two options,...either you allow this to become a mutually hateful relationship wherin you both basically abuse the other to supposedly get what you both need while trying to ignore your greed and imaturity,...or, you move forward and try to adapt as human beings with mutual respect and understanding while giving to eachother the things you both need in an honest exchange.

Assuming the later course is the most desirable, you could well start by trying to understand that her sexual interest, like most womens, waxes and wanes according to the situation. This is quite different to that of most men who have a more regular need regardless of emotional situations and more to do with their build up of semen, as much as anything else.

It's entirely possible that her lack of interest while you were both together was due to what was presumably an uncertain or stressed relationship. It's equally possible that her appare3nt interest now is due to things being sorted out between you and the emotional situation stilled,...or perhaps, she isn't particularly interested in the sex but needs to get her jobs done!

I think sex can work very well between friends without any particular emotional tie. However, it's vital to have honesty, communication and genuine friendship. When things are like that you can both 'give' the other what they need rather than simply use the relationship to take your needs.

As ever in human activity, it pays to accentuate the positives and try to work on the negatives,...good luck!

Bugleone,

Thanks for making the effort to share your thoughts with me. Your comments are much appreciated and very well recieved. In fact, you have helped me a great deal in trying to understand why I was having so many negative feelings about the situation.

In short, our relationship has never really had the honesty, communication and genuine friendship and, as a result, it was an unhealthy situation when we were dating and it is still an unhealthy situation now. I think it is best if I remove myself from any and all contact with her and just move on.

Bugleone, your few words have helped me a great deal in understanding my emotions and putting the situation in to the proper perspective.

Thank you.

[PlsBKind]

I'd like to chime in as well. From a woman's perspective and as a friend, I would say to you to resolve your feelings for her, either accept that there is something there and explore it, or move on. I think as it stands, the relationship is toxic to you, and since your feelings for her have deteriorated since you started this, you are putting yourself at risk for losing your own self respect as well. I don't think you've reached closure on the relationship, and it's time to do that.

I think your observations about lack of honesty and communication during the relationship are key. If it were possible, I'd try to talk to her to understand her better, and understand yourself better too. I don't think it is possible in this case, though.

Moving on would be what I'd be doing in your place.

Relationships are hard and this one has many factors that make it even harder. This is a difficult situation, probably quite painful, and I wish you luck in getting it resolved. There are lots of wonderful women out there who could make you happy and vice versa. I think that's where you should expend your energy. Visualize your dream girl, and go after her.

[socko5]

And think of this, who else is she doing for a "favor"