I want to know what you are thinking about as your orgasm hits please.
This has interested me for years and some of my own experiences recently have finally made me ask. I'll try to explain why, and exactly what, I want to know but as orgasm is known to be notoriously difficult to describe or quantify it's probably going to be a bit of a ramble so please bear with me and I'll try to tie some of it down.
Ever since I discovered arousal and orgasm at the age of about 10 or 11 it's always been 'about' something,....a set of thoughts about a situation or person in a situation which is arousing enough to enable me to get excited. As orgasm approaches it is always accompanied by the mental 'video' reaching it's crucial climax. When edging, I mentally reuse the thoughts and pictures in a 'replay' until I decide to finish. As the level of arousal increases with each approach to near orgasm it's the mental situation that allows the increased enjoyment,....so in that sense, I could say that my orgasms are every bit as psychological as due to physical stimulation,..even though that stimulation allows arousal and orgasm to happen.
Unlike many people, I don't ever remember being able to get aroused and reach orgasm using just physical stimulation or by concentrating on just that stimulation,...for me, sex always HAS to have an angle, story, fantasy, 'pin-up' figure or other mental picture/situation.
Perhaps because of this, I have long been fascinated and interested in what the mental part of orgasm actually is,......a climax of emotion,...a surge of some electrical energy,....what actually happens to us during a powerful orgasm and indeed, what makes one orgasm more mentally important than another???
Over the years I have been sometimes amazed and at others troubled by stuff that comes into my minds eye as the process of orgasm finally takes me over. In some mysterious way it seems to be a window to my sub-concious mind allowing, or sometimes inflicting, sequences that are impossible for me to understand or interpret. So, as the final sensation of orgasm explodes in my head, a film like sequence sometimes takes over from the exciting thoughts that I use to get aroused. Often this final rapid sequence is completely non-sexual,......landscapes that I have never been to,..people I have never seen,....machines and vehicles that I can't identify etc. I seem to go through periods of this and then it leaves me.
Sometimes these phenomena take other forms with the final climax of emotion and sensation subverted apparently by my sub-concious mind. I used to use soft porn images of naked women to start my basic arousal and would usally build the mental story line around the person in the pictures,...as I have said, the mental element is all important. however, in recent times I find visual material less and less satisfacory so the 'story line' has become the greater element.
Last week I found my 'story line' built up nicely through several rounds of edging,..it featured a particular female aquaintance as the centre of a set of activies which terminated in my minds eye of my bending her over the kitchen table with her panties around her ankles and her skirt thrown up on her back but as my orgasm expanded I suddenly found that it was entirely taken up with a woman who is a near neighbour and who is currently very ill, being partially paralysed and in a wheelchair. She is an attractive enough lady but I have never found her to be in my fantasies before. She is tall good looking and slim with blond hair but I am naturally drawn to shorter more curvy women with darker hair. My orgasm was agreat surprise to me,..a massive blast of emotional feeling,...a paroxysm of energy which was suddenly ripped out of my mind and 'flowed' to my sick neighbour,...NOT in the least sexy or about sex, just a massive sense of sympathy and love. It was very shocking to me and I can't forget it or stop turning it over in my mind.
Does anyone recognise or understand any of this ramble which i have probably not expressed too well(?)