JO Buddy Question:

bos.guy · by **bos.guy** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 8:53 pm

So here's the question:

If you're married and/or in a long-term, committed relationship (I suppose either happily or not), do you consider it inappropriate, cheating, a violation of trust to have a "secret" JO Buddy of the same sex, while still being married?

Assuming your buddy and you had clear terms, and no oral, anal or vaginal intercourse where exchanged, is this just another healthy outlet?

And finally, if you do feel this is in anyway not a completely kosher experience, does making it among the same sex (i.e., two married buds jacking together) make it at least a tad more acceptable?

Love to hear everyone's thoughts on this issue...

blueman1008 · by **blueman1008** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 9:36 pm

I think it depends on just how far you go, and how your spouse or significant other feels about it. If you think keeping it a secret is the thing to do, then, I think you may be cheating.

My wife knows about my chat jack sessions, internet porn, etc., and sometimes watches. Other times she leaves me on my own and up to my own devices.

It is my belief that honesty is the best policy.

bos.guy · by **bos.guy** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 9:41 pm

Thanks for replying.

I've jerked in the past with some mates, before I was married, but still in a committed relationship. I told my gf at the time, and while I don't think she was completely happy...when I explained that it was just a couple of buds getting together and stroking to porn (since we all knew we were going to go jo anyway), I think she just thought guys are funny when it comes to masturbation.

But, it does seem like a valid question, given that so many people (perhaps myself included) are interested in finding a str8 jo buddy.

lickerlover · by **lickerlover** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 10:01 pm

He's right, depends on how far you go

bos.guy · by **bos.guy** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 10:29 pm

Well, assuming that limits are agreed upon and understood, and people don't go beyond normal jacking together, blueman raises a good point:

is the secretive aspect of having a jo buddy really what's considered cheating? that is, should we disclose all information to our partner in the name of complete honesty, or do some people think that this could exist as a normal, sane and otherwise fine extracurricular activity with a same sex friend?

Heatherforever · by **Heatherforever** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:22 am

It's not cheating... But really, try And be honest and upfront. That has been what my husband and I have always agreed on, and it's how we live our lives.

HnR

ilove2cum · by **ilove2cum** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:35 am

My wife knows about me wanking to porn many a late night as she doesn't want me all over her (except when it suits her

). I haven't told her about the videos I've made or where I've done it as I think she might find it a bit weird for her <smirk>.

Hornymale · by **Hornymale** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 11:20 am

You should ask your wife the question

bos.guy · by **bos.guy** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:18 pm

Well, that's a good point, and perhaps I should clarify:

I've disclosed all information to her about my past, and the fact that I've had circle jerks with male friends...to which she typically kind of laughs if she remembers it and gives it a "that's so weird guys like to do that together look"...

so, I certainly am in agreement about the honesty thing.

It's just been a topic on my mind lately, so I thought it might stimulate some interesting comments on the forum.

I don't honestly know if I would ever want an actual JO buddy, unless it was a good friend who I felt comfortable with, who understood the limits, and who would understand that my wife's wishes/wants/opinions would always take priority on whether or not something would happen.

I should say though that I love jerking, and am pretty open about it with all of my friends. Now, I know how to be discreet, but sometimes I wonder what would happen if one of them caught me jerking off, or if I just started (alone) and the situation just progressed into a circle jerk. I guess that if I was "looking" for something to happen, that's the same as essentially "inviting" a mate to jo with me, though.

C5 · by C5 » Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:44 pm

How would you feel if you found out your wife had a secret jilling friend? I think it's different for different people. I definitely wouldn't want to keep anything secret from my wife or girlfriend. A secret like that to me says I'm doing something that I shouldn't or am ashamed of. That's not something I'd want in a relationship. You know better than anybody how she'd feel about it. Don't do anything that would hurt her is my advice.

bos.guy · by **bos.guy** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:54 pm

I absolutely agree.

I think if someone is interested in taking a JO partner while being in a relationship, you have to imagine what it would be like if your partner had one...regardless if they disclosed this information beforehand or not.

I think in theory it all sounds so sexy and sort of naughty, but in reality, it "can" (not always, obviously) present problems...so I just wonder if that's why so many people who are turned on by the idea of a JO buddy need to keep it secret, in order to not stir up any ill-feelings...but as everyone has pointed out, the disloyalty may get the best of you.

I guess a follow-up question would be: for those of you who did, or do, have a JO buddy within your relationship, is it a secret?...and if so, what would happen if you found out your partner also had one? If you're a guy, would you feel jealous, or that your masculinity was on the line? Or would you think: hell, I enjoy it, why can't she!

momo · by **momo** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:05 pm

If I found out my partner had a JO buddy that's a woman, I would definitely NOT be fine with it. If it was a guy, I would still not be happy if he did it behind my back without telling me. If he kept it a secret, it tells me that he doesn't trust me as he should, and that wouldn't be good for our relationship. I don't mind him masturbating, and if he told me openly that he had jacked off with a guy friend... I guess it would depend on, were they touching each other, or were they just both jacking off to porn in the same room? Does he intend on making it a regular thing, or was it just something that happened "accidentally"? If he was wanting to make it something regular, I guess I would worry because I really want to be his sole sex and masturbation partner in RL, not counting porn / internet activities. With my libido I wouldn't mind him being all over me and fucking me every night (if it weren't for the damn long distance situation we are in), or alternately masturbate together or watch and help him masturbate if I'm not up for it myself...

Ok now I'm aroused and forgot what my point was. :oops:

bos.guy · by **bos.guy** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:33 pm

thanks for your post momo, as i completely concur with your thoughts on this matter

and now i want to know why you got stimulated from writing that post? all the talk of mutual masturbation perhaps?!

momo · by **momo** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:37 pm

The thought of him fucking me is such a turn on, I can't wait for the summer when we'll meet and do it like rabbits for hours on end.

bos.guy · by **bos.guy** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:44 pm

...so, absence makes the pussy grow hungry???!!!

Premier Online Masturbation Community