I feel so lonely a lot of the time, i feel like i don't have

[mogivepep]

wow! where do i start...well first of all i'm 22 and up until about a year ago i had a reasonable social life, but all of a sudden it seems as though it has vanished. See i suffer from a few different problems such as social anxiety, low self esteem, low confidence and shyness to name a few. Anyway so i just feel like my social life has gone down the drain and my friends don't really contact me much anymore. I hear from the odd couple of people now and then, but apart from them i hear nothing.

i know i shouldn't be feeling down like this at 22, but i do. I still live at my parents home at the moment, but i dread the weekends, which is stupid right? the reason i dread them is because i have absolutely nothing to do at weekends and i feel like i'm leading a sad and lowly existence. The thing is, because i have social anxiety fear and i have low self esteem because i am slightly overweight i don't like socialising and i avoid social events when my friends invite me. That is probably the reason why most of my friends don't contact me because they probably think i'm a waste of time. I've been really depressed of late also and when i do get a call from friends, i ignore them.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm looking for work at the moment, but i have had no luck. I just want to lead a normal sociable life with plenty of friends, instead of this s**t life that i am leading at the moment. i ignore everyone that contacts me because i feel so down, so people end up not bothering about me because this is what i'm acting like. i feel sick and tired and although i would never kill myself, i can understand why people would want to commit suicide when they are feeling so depressed and lonely.

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