you must laugh

[vannessangelia]

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."
The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."
He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"
The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"
He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"
"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."


How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.


There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

[Affinity]

This is hard to fap to.

[FlipSwitch]

This is hard to fap to.

I LOL'd.

[BigShow]

Three newly wed couples check into a hotel for their honeymoons. The men get together at the bar and start talking. It turns out that tonight will be the first time they have made love to their partners since they got together. They make a deal. In the morning when they come down for breakfast they shall order slices of toast to let the others know how many times they had sex during the night.
Next morning the three couples come down for breakfast and the waitress goes up to the first couple and the husband asks for 3 slices of toast. The second man orders 4 slices of toast. All very impressed, they look to the third husband.
"Only four slices of toast please" he says, "but make two of them brown".