Masturbation Page

MASTURBATION Q & A from 07/23/97

Tom and Lynda Gayle answer your masturbation questions

(m) Jay from Philadelphia who masturbates "1-2 times a day" asks:

I am a single parent of a ten year old. I have always believed that I should be as open about sexual issues as possible with him. When I was his age, there was no one to answer questions that I had. Recently, I have become aware that he has been masturbating, and have approached him about it. I have explained that it is normal, and told him that I do it as well. Since explaining this to him, he has become more open, masturbating in front of me, and today asked if he could watch me. I explained that this would be inapropriate, but have not stopped his masturbating in public. Is it wrong to continue to allow him to masturbate in front of me? What are the reasons he wants to see me do it, and was I wrong for saying no? I am afraid that if I discourage his activities, he will become embarrased, and will no longer talk to me freely. If you can not answer this question on Mick's page, I would appreciate a private answer. Thanks!!
Dear Jay;
As children get older??? Maybe we should have said as WE get older it is only normal to experiement and try new things out. Your son may want to watch you to see if you know something he doesn't or vice versa. In any case, the fact that he masturbates in front of you and you have told him that it would be inappropriate for you to do it in front of him or with him we would imagine be confusing to someone 10 years old. At some point in time, probably sooner rather than later, you will need to have another discussion about why public masturbation is not yet socially acceptable (although we are trying)!! After all it is for his safety that you talk with him in the first place. If you two were the only folks on earth there would be nothing to worry about, but you aren't and that's why you as an adult need to be very careful how you proceed from here. Good luck. T & LG

(f) Mom from Canada who masturbates "up to 20 times a week" asks

I'm a 40 year old divorcee who lives with my 15 year old daughter. Last night I saw her masturbating herself but without a vibrator. Before she even saw me I asked her if she'd like me to buy her a vibrator. She looked confused and scared. She said "well..." and then left the room. I want her to be able to talk with me about sex and masturbation and boys and even risky stuff like anal sex, group sex and lesbian sex. I would also like to be able to masturbate with her, to show her new techniques and just to be closer to her. Is that sick, or is it normal? And how can I aproach her about it?
Dear Mom;
By your own account you invaded a very private moment of your daughters. Wrong 1! Then, before she knew you were there you assumed (why, we'll never know) that she ought to have a vibrator of her very own! Wrong 2! If you want to gain her trust in order to talk of delicate issues we suggest you start by 1, being sensitvie to her private needs first. And 2, realizing that your way of masturbation with a vibrator is not the only way to 'do it'. We suggest that you apologize to her and ask that when SHE feels like it to come and talk things over with her own words. We have two ears and one mouth....listen to her more than! Who knows you may learn something yourself, wouldn't that be nice! LG & T

(m) Klan who masturbates "once a day" asks:

ok, I masturbate quite frequently and when my gf gives me a hand job it takes forever and she never finishes. Her wrist will get sore first. We do not have sex yet and she is my first gf that I've done stuff with. I was just wondering is she not good at it(she goes pretty slow) or is too much masturbation making me desensitive? Thank you
Dear Klan;
Both of you need to relax, communicate, be sensible and sensitive to each others needs. Don't beat a dead horse! Let her rest some, help her by doing it for her, let her learn by your doing it for her. Again, the journey is the reward. Do you have to cum....every time? LG

(m) Harrison from Jackson who masturbates "2-3 times a day" asks:

Is there a good way or something found in the common household that I could hump that could get me off? Also, is there a way to help stretch and perform oral sex on yourself? Thanks....
Dear Harrison;
Check out corners of beds, couches, washing machines (while running), door knobs, etc., you're getting the idea. Yes, if one is serious about sucking himself off he must practice, like an athelete, every day. Be sure to warm up first....good luck. LG

(m) Lewis from Boston who masturbates "each day, times twice each day" asks:

For several years I have been enjoying auto-fellatio. However, recently, I extended myself perhaps further than i should have,...and now my back is sore just under my right scapula. I enjoy this form of masturbation and wish to continue. Can you tell me what i can do to make my back feel better? It has been a month, and my doctor has manipulated it,...though I haven't told him how I hurt it. Next,...can you suggest exercises and more efficient methods I can use which will allow me to maximize oral penile contact while saving my back? Thanks
Dear Lewis;
We think you probably need to warm up more completely before you begin your play! You have a wealth of resources available to you in your area! Try talking to athletic trainers at the universities close to you. Ask them for a warm up and stretching program that will help you loosen your back muscles. Ballet instructors are also good for this too. Get cracken! LG

(m) jakman ( PSAB@AOL.COM ) from Phoenix who masturbates "2x a day" asks:

I absolutly LOVE to masturbate and have recently discovered Adult theaters and I was wondering if there is some kind of unspoken editquette or rules of thumb to observe.
Dear Jakman;
Yes, be careful first, ASK before assuming anything. It is like dining in a foreign country. Watch a lot before acting on impulse in your situation. LG & T

(m) hypocrite who masturbates "an average of once a day" asks:

I have 3 questions for you:
1.When I am around my friends, We tease eachother about masturbation, calling eachother "wankers" and soforth. I feel like a hypocrite for doing this and know that I must stop on or the other, so lately I have been trying to stop masturbating because I am affraid I will loose all my friends if I "come out". excuse the pun. What should I do?
2.When I have fanticies, usually it is from a first person woman point of view (I am the woman). Is this normal for men and if not what does it mean?
3.Is there anyway I can simulate a blow-job when I masturbate? because I have never had one and I am affraid I never will, but I want to know what it feels like. thanx.
p.s. I read that 95% of all males masturbate, does this include donating to the sperm bank or having a semen sample checked?
Dear Hypo;
1 You owe no one a piece of your personal life, feel guilty for nothing that does not harm an innocent person! Don't cum out....let them cum out to you and when they understanding!
2 Any fantasy that you may have is for your enjoyment...stop are taking life entirely too seriously!
3 If you want to experience another's penis in your mouth, go for it, this is 1997 not 1897. In keeping with your guilt complex...remember don't tell anyone about it....unless you want to. Sucking your own penis is very difficult at will probably have to exercise a little and get warmed up to even try it.
ps Everyone that can get their hands to their genitals has at one time or another masturbated! Did we answer this last question or did we miss something there????? LG & T